THE LETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 8, 2008

(bear [bare?] with me… I’ve been drinking…)

 

I got my letter!!!!!!!!!!!!! I passed!!!!!!!!!!! No “fitness of character” interview needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I send in my RSVP and I’m probably being sworn in on June 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I AM A LICENSED ATTORNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OK, in 4 weeks… whatever!!!)

 

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I just wanted to see the letter. That’s all. I needed the hard proof. Oh. My. God. I cannot believe it!!!

 

HOLY CRAP!

 

I guess this means I have no reason to NOT send resumes, huh? …. I just got home. It’s after 1 a.m. and I think I want another drink to fully celebrate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Update for Jennie (And Everyone Else, Of Course)… May 5, 2008

The letter did not come today. Argh. Stupid mail forwarding by the United States Postal Service. My hope is that it will come tomorrow. Hell, it can come next year, as long as I eventually get it. The Mass Board of Bar Examiners *should* be posting results online any day now. I’m thinking tomorrow for that as well. Who knows.

 

I’m headed over to Unofficial’s in a few minutes. We are cooking out tonight. He had jury duty today and got picked! Poor thing. He’s going to be involved in some trial for the next week. This puts him in a crunch with his job. He’ll have to go to trial during the day and then work at night. At lunch he called me and said that I should be a DA. I made a comment like “awww are seeing the attorneys making you think about me?” His response was that he’d been thinking about me anyway for many other reasons.

 

So. Cute.

 

*Le Sigh*

Other People’s Results, New Place New Roomie, Lots Of Unofficial, Loans and My Little Monster May 3, 2008

1. Congrats to all of my colleagues who have received their letters and passed the MA bar!! My sympathies to those who did not and, as I’ve stated, please let me know if there’s anything I can do. As for myself… I’m still not typing what I know until the letter arrives. For some reason I feel like it will reverse the results mid-mailing if I do so prior to getting hard proof. I am very excited, nonetheless.

 

2. I have been doing a good job of unpacking and getting everything pretty settled at the new place this week. Roomie and her kitty cat move in today, any moment really. I just swiffered the floors and I’m waiting for them to get here. I have to leave mid-afternoon to head to the restaurant, so I hope they get here soon. I’d like to be here for at least a little bit when she first gets here.

 

3. Unofficial has been so cute lately. He spent my first night in the new place with me, which was great. Then, on Thursday night he came over again. The story is funny though. He had a dinner with his little brother from BigBro/BigSis. It was some awards dinner from the BB/BS organization. I was at work. Surprisingly, it got busy for me there so I didn’t leave until about 10 pm. Unofficial and I had tentatively planned on him coming over, nothing firm though. So, I called him when I left work:

 

Me: Where are ya?

 

Unofficial: I’m at [Irish Bar]

 

Me: Where’s that?

 

Unofficial: Across from where you live.

 

How flippin’ cute! He was waiting for me. I raced home, threw on some jeans and met him at the bar. There was some sort of Irish jam session going on. It was fun. He stayed the night and it was nice. I like when he stays with me at the new place. I just like him. Period.

 

 

4. I almost threw up in my mouth yesterday when I realized that my loans come due soon. Sallie Mae was telling me that my private loans were going to be due at $908/month starting in June and my federal at $485/month. WHAAAAAT!? I’m currently waitressing. This does not look good. Haha. I called and my private will be at 780-something and my fed may go down to $60. This is only temporarily, of course, but seriously… anything helps. I better find an attorney position ASAP.

 

5. Tonight I have to work. It’s Saturday. Somehow this always surprises Unofficial. Why, I’m not sure. I met him while I was at work on a Saturday night. My schedule hasn’t changed in the 4+ months we’ve been dating. He’s an odd one sometimes. Anywho… He’s going out with a bunch of people tonight and told me to text or call when I get out of work. He loves me. OK, maybe not yet, but he’s sooo heading down that path. Hahaha. I have 2 different outfits all ready for me to change into when I get home from work (if it’s not too late) so that I can meet him and his friends out. Also, we have a date on Monday. Yay!!!!

 

6. Simon is being obnoxious lately. Absolutely 100% obnoxious when I’m sleeping. Much like my friend Random claims that Little Filthy is a Monster, I’ve taken to calling Simon a “little monster” when he wakes me up. How do I get him to STOP messing with the blinds when I’m sleeping??? HELP! It’s the WORST sound ever!

Because Random Did It… April 28, 2008

Hey all you lurkers/readers/bar examinees!! From the blog stats, I’m seeing that the majority of my readership is currently from bar examinees waiting on results. Please take a moment to say “Hello” and to vent about the wait. I wish you all the best of luck!! Everyone else who reads… Give a girl some insight into who the heck is reading this ok!? Jeepers!! haha. Happy Monday and LOTS to update on soon… just give me a bit…

Waiting Game April 23, 2008

I feel like I’m doing a lot of waiting lately. Waiting to move to a new place (Sunday!!! yay!!). Waiting for Unofficial to get his head out of his ass… err… be ready. But, most importantly, waiting for my bar results. This. F’ing. Sucks. I was all fine with the wait until this week. I’ve convinced myself that the results will come out VERY soon.

 

Because of my ability to lie to myself, I’m now in deep anxiety mode. I was scheduled for a double at work today. It’s BEAUTIFUL outside, so we weren’t too busy. I scooted out as quickly as possible and bee-lined it home. I NEEDED to check the mail. Now, mind you, I’m still in Plymouth so it’s a good 30 minute drive between the apartment and work. (Come Sunday, only 15 minutes! Yay!) Regardless, I made the drive just to check my mail.

 

I am now hating the United States Postal Service. Daily, I am disappointed. Yesterday, it was a pamphlet from some local community college (because I definitely need more school right?!). Today, it was a flier from Bed Bath & Beyond. Granted, that $5 coupon on the last page may come in handy due to this move, but seriously……. GIVE. ME. MY. RESULTS. NOW!!!

 

The anxiety, I think, is worse than right before the exam. Honestly. I was pretty crazy right before the exam, too. This is worrisome for me because if I manage to get “crazier” I think it may drive away everyone in my life. Haha. I’m already over-reacting to nothing (literally, nothing) in regards to Unofficial. He and I are *very* good right now. And, I am being crazy because he has become “linked” to someone on that site where you “link” with others and I think it’s someone else he’s dating. So, I googled her and found her facebook… etc etc. Now, nothing has changed with he and I. I just now have a face for the name… which should make me feel a little better because if I’m being catty (and of course I am) I would say that I’m prettier and a better all around package. But, that’s only if I’m being catty… I feel confident with he and I, but this over-riding anxiety makes me insane. I’m trying to be calm, cool and collected like the MSN horoscopes told me to be… hahaha

 

I’ll write about Marathon Monday later. I just needed to vent. There’s been some serious action on this blog the last few days. Lots of visitors and some who are even searching for “bar results snarky runner” and the like. Very cool. You know, you can leave comments too! hahaha.

Frisky Friday… April 18, 2008

1. My shoes and suits, along with some kitchen stuff and books, are now over at the new apartment. Sadly, there is a ridiculous amount of stuff left to bring over. Luckily, I’m loving the apartment more and more…

 

2. Unofficial and I had an impromptu sleepover last night…

 

3. Speaking of Unofficial, his parents popped into the restaurant tonight for drinks before going to a family part. I. LOVE. THEM. And… they love me too! It’s fantastic. I need no other cheerleaders in regards to that boy, the two of them will be enough! They make me smile…

 

4. There may be some news regarding bar passage a lot sooner than previously expected… I’m predicting some sort of information in the very near future.

 

5. Work Crush and his girlfriend are done. Apparently there was a huge blow-out over the weekend. Tonight, he was very curious about what was going on with Unofficial and I, mostly because I was giving Unofficial’s Dad a tour of the restaurant’s private dining areas and introduced him to WC… haha. I told him that I am happy with things. And I am. WC is good for work, but probably not so much for real life.

 

6. I went running again today. Unofficial and I were up so early that I had time to run, tan (shush), pack some boxes, put them in my gas guzzler, drive to the new apartment, unload the car AND unpack most of the boxes… all before work! The run was short but good. I also feel pretty “jacked” from all the box lifting. I can’t wait to wear a dress for Unofficial with some hot heels again!

The Outcome And Other Random Thoughts Of The Day… March 27, 2008

1. This is all I will say about the discussion I had with Unofficial (new name coming soon… maybe…). The outcome of it is this: We will continue to date however we are going to “take a step back and try to start over.” I’m not dumb and neither is he. No one can ever REALLY “start over.” I do think, though, that we can manage to push pause and start back up slowly. I will probably try to date others (or just make out with Work Crush… see #3). Sex is off the table until he’s ready for something committed. It’s a non-negotiable at this point with me. I think it’s a good thing. We will go on dates and see if that connection really is there without the sex stuff getting in the way. In the end, we will find out if we really are going to work. Neither of us want to end things and I would hate myself for not trying.

 

2. One of the women bartenders I work with said something that struck a cord with me. I walked in on a conversation she was having with one of the crazies I work with, so this had nothing to do with me, but it made me think. “I would rather regret the things I did as opposed to those I did not do.” I would rather regret trying things with Unofficial and have it not work out as opposed to walking away and never knowing.

 

3. Aaaah… Work Crush… We’ve been engaging in quite a bit of flirtation as of late and the timing could not be any better for me. I asked if he wanted to go get a drink with me last night, figuring I would need one after my conversation with Unofficial. Let me say that I have never really thought WC was interested in me until very recently. It became clear to me last night that he, indeed, is interested. Sadly, timing for him is not fantastic as he is trying to work things out with his awful (ok, maybe not … who knows) girlfriend. Knowing him, however, we’ll be making out before long. Let’s not discuss how infatuated with the idea of doing that I am. And I no longer feel guilty about it due to #1 above. Something to look forward to…

 

4. Baseball season has begun!! I cannot begin to explain how excited this makes me! Once I’m closer to Boston, I’ll be even more psyched! GO RED SOX!!!

 

5. Athletic Trainer and I have been texting and sometimes talking on the phone. The talking on the phone is usually only when I am drunk and bored. For some reason, I will call him and not Unofficial. Maybe it’s because I’m hiding the “crazy” from Unofficial and I don’t give a shit about what AT thinks. He has told me that he now thinks he wants kids. My exact response: “Are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit?!?!?!” As I may or may not have mentioned previously, that was kind of a big thing for me… he had always said he didn’t want kids. Why is it that the minute I take myself out of the equation, the men morph into exactly what I want? OK, he’s not exactly what I want because he’s still him with his issues… but you get my point.

 

6. Unofficial bought me a beautiful leather bag for my birthday. It’s a Fossil Executive Tote. I am in love with it. Can you see my problem with letting him get away? He bought this for me because of his unfailing belief that I have passed the MA bar and will need such a bag for work. This is my first gift from a man I have been involved with. No, I am not kidding. Yes, I am aware of how sad that is. Let me just love it…

 

Wickity Wickity Whack… March 19, 2008

1. I’m using numbered paragraphs a la Random … deal with it.

 

2. I like living alone. The housing search has gotten easy and yet more complicated. I met a girl about a roommate situation and she was super cool, we hung out a lot. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can deal with a roommate… not matter how cool. I’m so used to living alone… this may be my downfall in finding a place (not that I have a choice given my lease terms).

 

3. While I do not believe in dating people I work with, I DO have a work crush. I’d call him my work boyfriend, but we may not be there yet. haha. I’ve had said work crush for a while now, but it seems as though it’s more mutual as of late. I’m a good girl and would NEVER act on anything because 1) Unofficial boyfriend may soon become Official… and I like that; and 2) Work crush has a girlfriend. It does make going to work more fun, however. Plus, who else will go out with me for a drink the night before my b-day this weekend? Obviously work crush will!

 

4. I’m getting excited for my bar results. Not only will I be an attorney, but I have learned today that I will still be able to supplement whatever attorney position income I get with my waitressing. Usually, at my restaurant, you must work a certain number of shifts a week. It’s mandatory at this place. Recently, however, one of our managers has decided to hire strictly “function” servers. These would be people to work whatever functions are scheduled and nothing more. FANTASTIC. As long as that Manager says it’s OK, I will be able to be an attorney working however many hours AND once a week or so pick up a shift and get a few hundred extra! Wahoo!

 

5. My birthday is Saturday. Unofficial is taking me to the Top of the Hub. I have never been there. I’m excited and will be wearing a red dress. Yes. Red. Dress. Love it!

 

6. Friends who live in and around Boston are coming out of the wood work. People are finding out that I’m moving there and are psyched. I, personally, cannot wait either.

The Next Big Step March 10, 2008

It’s been just over a week since the exam. It came and went with minimal pain. There is not even a doubt this time that I passed. Walking away from the exam, I felt that I could not have known any more and that I MUST have just passed it. The wait time is far less this round… We found out the beginning of November for the July exam, this time we’ll find out the beginning of may which is just 6 weeks away!! I’m already planning who I want to go and watch me be sworn in and what I’ll do to celebrate.

 

While it feels great not to be worrying about the exam anymore, I also have other things to be focused on. The end of my lease is coming up and that means that I need to find a new place! I’ve been looking on craig’s list on a daily basis. I have not, however, gone to look at any of the places I’ve seen listed. I think I will make some calls today and take a look at a few tomorrow. I’m planning on moving closer to Boston. There are so many benefits to this move. First, I’ll be paying FAR less rent. $1350 a month is killing me. Second, I’ll be in an area better suited to my age. Plymouth is great, but there are few places for young professionals. I don’t really have any friends in Plymouth either. If I move closer to Boston, I’ll be closer to a few of my friends and I’ll be able to meet new people. Third, I’ll more likely than not work in Boston once I get those lovely results back from the bar. Less commute equals more sleep!! haha. And, finally, I’ll be closer to the man. I would never make this move BECAUSE of him, but it’s a definite bonus. I think that we will be able to definitely move things forward with things when the distance isn’t such an inconvenience.

 

If the search for my new home weren’t enough, I’m also going to be actively searching for a new job. The whole waitressing thing is wearing me thin. My potential as a lawyer needs to be tapped into and I plan on making that switch soon. Obviously, the new home is priority at the moment because I DO have a job that I can continue for the time being.

 

And that’s basically the update on my life since the bar… I’m going to post in a few minutes on the ridiculousness that has occurred on Glamour Magazine’s website in the past few days.

Have a little faith in me… January 11, 2008

I was going to write solely about my little anxiety attack at work yesterday regarding the bar exam. I was going to ramble on about how on edge I am and how it’s coming out in basically all areas of my life.

 

And then I saw this week’s Grey’s Anatomy. First of all, I am so happy that this show is back from it’s break. I almost always come away from each episode with something to ponder. That was most certainly the case with tonight’s episode.

 

There was a strong message regarding faith. One of the characters suffers from not having enough faith in herself. She envies another character because of that person’s unwaivering faith in who she is as a surgeon/person. In a way, I can relate. It seems like all of my friends from law school know who they are as lawyers. Even those not from law school seem to know who they are when it comes to their professional self. Here I am, quasi-lawyer-temporary-waitress, with no clue as to who I am in the legal realm.

 

I’ve always thought that I would practice sports law. I, eventually, came to realize that while I have an interest in sports and law and their intersection - I don’t have all of the necessary qualifications to be a good sports lawyer. I know the rules of the games, I have a general understanding of the major players, but I am so behind the curve when it comes to stats and the specifics of the players.

 

My next thought has been to get into corporate/business law. The one issue with this is that in order to really get ahead in this area of law, I’d need to work for a larger firm and at this point, that won’t be happening. So where do I go from here? I’ve considered recently real estate law. In particular, maybe I’ll play with commercial real estate. I think I’d like it, but who knows. Sadly, none of this matters much without a bar passage. And I have feel so insecure and scared about this exam that it’s slowly driving me crazy.

 

And all of this talk about faith in myself leads me to the anxiety attack of yesterday. I’ve been dreading work lately because I find myself concerned with studying when I’m there. It has not been busy enough for me and I can think of a million other things I could be doing instead. During the break in between my shifts, I did some work on criminal law. I found a place that I knew no one would be in and sat there to go through my outlines. After about an hour or so the ENTIRE kitchen staff decides to sit where I am studying and talk EXTREMELY loudly. First of all, they NEVER eat there. Secondly, why be so loud?! They see me studying…

 

So, I huff off and go into yet another room for like 40 minutes. But during that time I get myself so worked up and rattled that I had a bit of a break down. I calmed myself down and put my books back in my car. While getting myself together for my night shift, I really lost it. The tears came out fast and hard. I locked myself in a stall and sat there for a minute or two. I finally regained my composure and went down to work. It was an ok night, but I wanted to get out early.

 

These little breakdowns of mine have got to stop. I was talking with one of the girls and really it seems as though I’ve lost my faith in my intellectual abilities. Unfortunately, when this happens I don’t want to think about the bar exam because it scares me too much. So, I take my faithlessness and it gets applied to the other areas of my life that are just fine. Well, ok maybe they aren’t ALL fine. I mean, I’m stressed at work because I think I officially hate it. I want nothing to do with being a waitress anymore, which in turn adds more pressure to my bar exam studying because I want so badly to change my job. I’m lonely and miss my friends from law school and college. The new guy is really the only thing that gets me excited these days. And, because I’m miserable elsewhere but don’t want to deal with any of it, it’s rubbing off on how I feel about that situation. I started stressing yesterday because I hadn’t heard from him. SERIOUSLY!?!?! Who am I?

 

Today, I’ve come to the conclusion that I must stop. Tomorrow, I am going to come up with a strict regimen/schedule for my days. I will make sure to get to the gym and do some self-work. Somehow I have managed to get Saturday through Tuesday nights off!!! I’m thinking I’ll visit one of the girls from college to get myself a little bit of more grounded. The guy will be away until Monday night, unfortunately. However, I think this is good. I need to take a step back from him a bit because I’m getting a little too into it already. I think we’ll see each other on Tuesday night.

 

So… for the others out there who are studying for these horrible exams… how’s your faith lately?