Comfort Zone Part 2 December 30, 2008

I thought I had posted this the other day. It was saved as a draft. Sorry. Here it is now…

 

So here we are on opposite couches (so that my computer can be plugged in) watching more LOST and so I can continue my last post. Random’s comment rings very true. Part of me feels like a brat for complaining so much about Unofficial not putting in the effort and trying to spend time with me… and also for Accountant wanting to spend SO much time with me.

 

As I said in response to RE, I’m glad that this is a holiday week. It makes it near impossible for us to spend much time together over the next few days or so. His sisters and my sister all get into town tomorrow night. There’s a possibility that we will all meet up for drinks, but there will be no sleep over. Wednesday is Christmas Eve so Sister and I will be down on the Cape to visit the parental units. Christmas we’re with the biological father’s side of the family. Friday Accountant has all his frat brothers coming into town and I’m working, so it’s unlikely we’ll see each other that night. Saturday I am down on the Cape again to have dinner with my high school friends. All in all, it’s likely that after tomorrow morning, we won’t see each other again until Sunday. I think that’s a good thing.

 

The day after Christmas would be a year for Unofficial and I. One. Year. I can’t help but think about him. I still miss him very much. As much fun and as great as Accountant is, I still haven’t completely moved on. I compare them a lot which is very unfair. Unofficial has like 8 years on Accountant. Doubtful that Unofficial was like he is now when he was 29. Then again its possible that he’s been the way he is for life. Anyway… point is… I have a hard time not thinking about him. I have dreams. It’s not good. I almost started crying randomly the other day.

 

The thing is… I’m happy…content. There’s no excitement though… we’re just too comfortable. And maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe it’s supposed to be comfortable and calm. I don’t know. I just feel out of my norm…

 

Anyone else have this type of experience? How did you get past it?

There’s Something Wrong With Me… December 30, 2008

1. I took about 2 days away from Accountant in between the last entry and Christmas night. Christmas eve day he texted me saying that he had just bought me a present. I planned on getting him something but I was a bit shocked that he would do the same… And then I got nervous and couldn’t figure out what to get him. I mean, I’m broke… and, well, it’s still early on anyway… so what do you get someone? I decided on 2 books (a Tri-log and a guide to Europe on a budget) that I felt were thoughtful and would be nice…

 

2. He got me a Wii. Yes. A. Wii. Christ…

 

3. I’m excited about the Wii… I mean, I kept saying stuff about it but never in a way that would suggest that he should get it for me… Regardless, it’s at his place. It was my idea to set it up there. This way Roommate doesn’t get to use it and he has the big plasma. Plus, maybe it makes me feel a bit better that he gets to use it when I’m not there… and so it’s like his too… and I won’t feel so guilty about the books… haha.

 

4. We were apart again until Sunday. Which was good. I’m definitely having a hard time with this. My routine is completely off and I feel less ummm… lovey towards him. I don’t get what’s wrong with me.

 

5. There’s one specific problem I’m having… he’s not assertive/aggressive enough. He makes comments like “Make out with me…” or “we can play in bed…” I don’t want comments. Just grab me by the back of my hair and make out with me… or pick me up and throw me onto bed. And please, dear lord, I do not need an hour of lead up… argh.

 

6. New Year’s Eve is proving to be difficult also. He has no ambition in regards to planning anything. And he doesn’t want to spend a lot (I understand) but he gives no good suggestions. Instead he says (don’t get too excited as you read this Random…) “Let’s go to Chicago!” Right. Because if we can’t afford a nice night out in Boston…WHERE WE LIVE… we can CERTAINLY afford 2 round-trip last minute airline tickets to Chicago. Right.

Comfort Zone… December 22, 2008

I think it’s possible to get too comfortable with someone too quickly. Random and I exchanged some BBMs this week kind of about this. I BBMd to say that I think I’m seeing too much of Accountant. And yet, I don’t take a step back for some space. I don’t know. This past week we spent 6 of 7 nights together. Most of them at his place. I’m there right now, in fact. He just ran out to get pizza.

 

I find myself in a situation different than any I’ve encountered before with the exception of Cuddle guy last year. I’m not used to someone wanting to see me every day and spend each night with me. I find it sweet but it’s almost a turn off at the same time. I’m not so much in the mood a lot. Again, weird for me. Usually I’m all about the fun sex and everything. And it’s not like I don’t like having sex with the Accountant, I do. I just find myself tired a lot or just wanting to relax. I’m not used to this at all.

 

And I’ll have to continue this later… he’s back… time for pizza!!

Bad Snarky… BAD! December 18, 2008

1. I know… what exactly is it that I do which keeps me from posting here? Argh. I’m horrible. Bad! I apologize… yet again. If I even have readers left…I’m so bad at this…

 

2. The accountant is fantastic. I cooked for him last week and it was so good. I’m pretty sure he fell just a tiny bit in love with me. Haha. I cooked for him this week… FAIL! He ate it all, though. Unofficial would have just ordered pizza.

 

3. Speaking of Unofficial… he called on Tuesday night. I hadn’t returned his previous call. I did return this one, though. We spoke briefly yesterday. It was all surface and kind of pointless. He has still said nothing about us and missing me or anything. The more that happens, the more I’m glad I’ve moved on. I want someone to want me enough to say things like “I miss being with you.” He obviously either doesn’t feel that way or can’t bring himself to say it. Either way… I’m out.

 

4. Accountant and I have spent the last 4 nights in a row together. This. Is. A. First. For. Me. Seriously. Kind of a big thing. I do think, however, that I am going to stay away for the next day or two. I’m attempting to get myself back into my routine a little. It’s definitely an adjustment with him in my life because unlike Unofficial we don’t have to be up at like 7 every day. That’s both good and bad. I’m attempting, however, to make whatever changes need to be made so that I am just as productive.

 

5. I have never watched LOST… until now. I’m addicted. Every night Accountant and I watch at least 1 episode. It’s his fault. He wanted me to like it. I do. And now we’re trying to catch me up before the season starts in January. There’s a lot left to go… What’s funny is that he doesn’t realize what he’s done. I get VERY into shows. I can’t talk or play usually when watching a show like LOST. It’s like a dude playing PS3. HA!

 

6. I am working on my first litigation case and it’s frustrating. I know nothing. NOTHING. I’ve had to rely on a contact of mine who does solely civil litigation. He’s never had a case like the one I’m working on (unpaid but whatever) and it’s slightly difficult. I have my first hearing scheduled for the end of January! AAAH!!!

 

7. I like Christmas but it makes me sad because I’m broke. I can’t wait to not be broke anymore…

 

8. High School friends and I are having a big dinner next Saturday night. I’m so excited!!! There’s 11 of us. It’s going to be a ton of fun. Yay!!

 

9. My father asked me what I want for Christmas and I had no response. I want a WII but that’s not practical. I want him to pay for my malpractice insurance but that’s too much. MCLE has a general practitioner’s Basics Plus! Package that I want, but that’s a lot too. What’s on your “wish list?”

Weekend Update And A Bit More About Accountant December 8, 2008

1.  Something has changed with WordPress.  Either I don’t post enough (true) or they changed this site overnight (potentially true, but doubtful).  Anyway, sorry if this comes out looking different than other posts.  I will fix it when I get a chance later if it’s goofy looking.

 

2.  I’m currently sitting in the Philadelphia International Airport waiting for my flight to Providence.  The weekend here in Philly with Care Bear was real nice.  I miss her tons and tons.  I’m pretty sure it was the best thing for me to do… getting away I mean.  I never really travel and I definitely do not take vacations.  This was nice.

 

3.  While here, I got a call from Unofficial.  He called Friday.  I had last heard from him Thanksgiving morning.  He left a message apologizing for being so MIA and that hopefully we can meet for a drink or something this week.  Little does he know…

 

4.  Things with the Accountant are great.  Last week we spent a ridiculous amount of time together.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that I saw him every day I was home except Thursday.  Over the weekend, I definitely missed him.  On Friday night there was a bit of drama with the girls and I just really really wanted to be home with him.  And, apparently, he misses me too…

 

5.  Can we discuss this for a bit?  I went almost an entire year with someone who couldn’t spent more than 1 night in a row with me, never mind seeing me almost every day… he never said he missed me when we went periods of time without speaking to each other.  Accountant spent HOURS at the office last night (like when I went to bed at 11:30-12, he was still there) in order to be able to spend time with me tonight.  I asked the Accountant if he wouldn’t mind grabbing a Boston Globe for me yesterday (I’m old – I like clipping coupons).  He didn’t even hesitate to say he’d make sure to do it.  I said something like “You are so good to me!” to which he responed ” I just treat you the way you should be treated.”  *Sigh*

 

6.  So you want to know more about the Accountant huh?  I feel like I’ve explained about him before but since I’m notoriously horrible about linking back to previous posts, I’ll just tell you a bit more now.  We went to college together.  I had a huuge crush on him but he had a girlfriend.  I remember going off to law school and thinking it was weird that he would randomly IM me.  In fact, for a small period of time, I forgot his real name.  (I’m horrible with names, it’s just a fact).  I could not for the life of me remember his real name as opposed to his IM name.  So, somehow, we stayed friends… distant friends but friends nonetheless.  When I moved to Boston, he and I started hanging out a little.  I was a good friend and brought him to or picked him up from the airport.  We always have fun together.  As his name suggests (let’s not talk about my obvious name choices on here…) he’s an accountant.  He works for one of the larger accounting firms internationally.  He apparently does real well.  He’s a runner.  Within the last 2 years or so, he started running and has already run 2 marathons.  I’m slightly jealous of his motivation.  He has two younger sisters that he is close to and speaks with on an almost daily basis.  He’s VERY cute.  About 6 feet tall, thick (again, I’m jealous) dark hair and bright blue eyes.  He keeps himself in shape and is very laid back.  I’m going to have to stop writing about him because I’m blushing and other passengers waiting for our flight are probably wondering why.

 

7.  Today is going to be a long one.  I was up before 5 a.m. to make sure I caught this flight.  I have to go down to the Cape to handle a few client matters and then Accountant and I are cooking at his place tonight (well, I am cooking haha).   I have a lot to do today and I am starting to get concerned that I won’t get it all done.  Here’s hoping I can!

 

8.  OH!  We’re boarding!  Happy Monday, kids!!