Tired Ramblings On A Tuesday Night… April 29, 2008

1. I like all of the attention I’m getting on here lately. Today (Tuesday) I had over 400 hits!! Seriously!? That’s pretty f’in cool. Granted, I’m sure this will all end once the MA bar results are out and everyone isn’t googling for their sanity. Whatever. I’ll take what I can get! Hopefully some of these new readers stick around.

 

2. The email that I sent to Unofficial earlier was responded to via voicemail. I was at work when he called, and he was just calling to say “Hi” and he apologized for not calling and then said twice to give him “a ring.” It’s funny to me that he apologized for not calling. I just saw him yesterday morning. We rarely talk every day. And twice telling me to call him is cute too. We spoke a bit ago and it was just like “how was your day… etc” chat but nice and I gave him advice on something he’s doing tomorrow and helped him to figure out that he doesn’t have jury duty. He was quite grateful. I think… *think*… that we are definitely progressing. Maybe this means that my being scared is all for naught and that he’s getting there sooner than I thought. I don’t want to get my hopes up though. We talked about doing something either Sunday or Monday (my nights off) and then I said if he wanted to come over after work to let me know. I also told him that I was going to try and give him more space so I don’t distract him from work. He didn’t sound as though he liked that idea. I enjoyed hearing that.

 

3. I’m feeling less and less into Work Crush lately. He kind of bores me now. All this build up and then nothing happens. It’s not worth the effort and, quite frankly, I wouldn’t give up what I have with Unofficial right now for anyone.

 

4. The past week I’ve been up pretty early each day. OK, early for me… so like 9ish. This was mostly due to the move. Today I slept in until 11:00. It was like heaven. AND, I could easily have gotten up earlier but forced myself to sleep a little more knowing how deprived I’ve been. I *think* I may have myself on a normal person sleep schedule almost! This would be great.

 

5. I told Unofficial about how there’s an epidemic at my work. Everyone is getting pregnant. (OK, like 3 people, but still…) He looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You’re on the pill, right?” I laughed. He looked so scared. We both take the precautions necessary for me to not get pregnant, it was funny that he was worried for a second. After I laughed I said something like “Please, it wouldn’t happen don’t worry.” His response, “Fucking knock on something wood!” HAHA. I like him. A lot.

 

Comcast, First Night Alone, Unpacking, Email Booty Call, Cupcakes and Suspense April 29, 2008

1. The comcast dude came by yesterday morning to install our cable and internet. He had to go into the basement to drill some holes in order for us to get tv in our bedrooms. This meant that he had to go out my back door and down the creepy stairs that I’ve never been down. When he was finished, he said that he had locked the door. Do you think he really did? No. Jerk. I realized this at 3 a.m. when I got freaked out by some noises and went to check all the doors. I should complain.

 

2. Speaking of my first night alone in the new place… it was creepy. The apartment is pretty large so with just me it feels kind of scary. I kept hearing noises as different points in the evening and it was freaking me out. Guess what the noise was. Rain. Yup. Rain hitting my windows. I think I need to start taking Adivan before bed. Simon doesn’t help matters because he causes a ruckus all over the place too.

 

3. I got a lot of my unpacking done yesterday. There’s still a whole bunch left to do. I wish I could snap my fingers and everything would be put away. Let’s try it now. *SNAP* Nope, boxes still everywhere. Damn it.

 

4. Unofficial got an email from me today. He has yet to respond. Basically it said that I know he’s going to be super busy with work and I don’t want to pester him at all. So, if he wants to come over after I get out of work any time this week he should text me or something when he so desires. I said that I won’t be texting him as I usually would when bored at work because of how busy he is. It puts the ball in his court and makes it seem like I’m doing it for his benefit. Really, I’m doing it so that I can see how long he can go without seeing me. Stupid games.

 

5. I think I am going to make cupcakes sometime this week. Maybe I’ll do that on Friday so that when Roomie gets here on Saturday she has something to munch on. I’m going to be a fantastic roommate, much like how amazing I am at being an almost-girlfriend. Hahah.

 

6. There is something I want to talk about on here… but I can’t yet… ugh. Soon. It’s big though. And when I can talk about it… believe you me there will be quite the entry!

Real Life “The Bachelor?” April 28, 2008

I was watching TV this evening, trying to decompress from all the unpacking I did, and I flip over to “The Bachelor.” Let it be known that I have yet to see an episode of this season’s nonsense. There was nothing else that looked remotely interesting so I decided to see what this season’s crew is all about.

 

Surprisingly, the season is almost over and there were just 3 (now 2) ladies left. I’m not even going to get into the whole British accent thing… it drives me nuts and not in a good way. Anywho… one of the girls was having a hard time opening up to the Bachelor guy. She made some very interesting comment though when speaking to the camera. Her trouble opening up to him and being able to have a good time with him was due to the fact that there are other women in his life. She stated that she was torn between her feelings regarding him being with other women and the potential of her getting hurt which arises from that situation and her genuine desire to want to be with him and have a great time.

 

She said something along the lines of “Am I going to give up being with this man who I really care for and potentially love just because of these other women right now?”

 

I kind of just sat there and thought. First of all, WOW. Something that I can relate to from “The Bachelor?!” Seriously!? Secondly, shit. That is exactly how I feel. EXACTLY. I HATE the situation and the fact that he is dating other people still (or last I knew was). However, what I hate more is what the situation does to me and how I sometimes act with him. I try and be the same as I always have been: lovable, kind, sweet, fun and a little sassy (and a whole lot of sexy). At times, though, I feel myself pulling away a bit and getting quiet or distant. I’m suspicious of him and his feelings for me because of his need to see others right now.

 

I find it hard to trust in what we have even though I try as hard as possible to be so confident and OK with things. I tell people “I’m not worried because he’s not going to find anyone else as cool as I am, as fun as I am, intelligent and just overall gets along with him as well as I do.” I also don’t think he’ll ever find someone he has as much chemistry with, or who his parents will like as much. Unfortunately, I’m not really 100% on all of that. I mean, I’m at about 82%.

 

My feelings have started to get real. I’m not quite at the “I’m in love with you” stage but I think I’m definitely headed down that path. I find myself thinking very long term and envisioning things that could be with us. It’s been a ridiculously long time since that has happened with me. Athletic Trainer and I never had a shot at long term, so those thoughts never really came up. I could never imagine AT meeting my family or hanging out with my friends. Unofficial is a completely different story.

 

For some reason this is all kind of hitting me today. Well, last night while trying to sleep and today. And it’s really scary. REALLY. SCARY. I might need to pull back a little I think. Luckily, he has a very busy couple of weeks ahead so that might be the default with us anyway. I just… I feel myself getting pulled in deeper and deeper. There are always questions in my head about where he is with all of this and I know he’s not there yet. He cares about me a lot, I know that much. But I think I need to try and not see him much for the next little bit. Pull away from the texting and calling too. I’m finding myself on shaky ground here and I need some assurance from him and this is really the only way to get that right now. See how he responds to me not being so accessible. I hate games. I’m looking at this more like self preservation.

 

Ugh. All of the self doubt just kills me. It’s the feelings that are getting stronger that is really starting to freak me out at the moment. I mean, I knew it would probably happen, I guess I was hoping they wouldn’t come on until he had “gotten there.”

 

I’m gong to need a lot of strength to do this…

Because Random Did It… April 28, 2008

Hey all you lurkers/readers/bar examinees!! From the blog stats, I’m seeing that the majority of my readership is currently from bar examinees waiting on results. Please take a moment to say “Hello” and to vent about the wait. I wish you all the best of luck!! Everyone else who reads… Give a girl some insight into who the heck is reading this ok!? Jeepers!! haha. Happy Monday and LOTS to update on soon… just give me a bit…

Surprise Night Off, Landscaper Hotties, and D’Angelos Dude April 24, 2008

1. I got the night off tonight! Wahoo! Really, all that means is that we are so slooooow that they needed to cut people and I volunteered! New plans for the night: pack, load jeep up, drive to Dorchester, run along the beach in Southie, unload car, unpack boxes, shower, see Unofficial (I think/hope). Yay! So much better than waitressing.

 

2. There are few things better than hot firemen in uniform… Hot landscapers do qualify, however. I love this time of year because of all the hot young landscapers everywhere… and it continues until October!! Yay eye candy!

 

3. I just had the strangest experience in take-out food ever. I have a small thing for D’angelos subs. I’ve been eating them since I was an itty-bitty and I love them! So, I call them up to put in an order to go. The guy fumbles around and then asks my name.

 

Me: “Snarky.”

 

D’angelos Dude: “Excuse me?”

 

Me: “SNARKY”

 

DD: “You don’t SOUND like a Snarky.”

 

Me: “Well, my name is Snarky.”

 

DD: “Oh, ok what can I get you…”
Me: “Medium italian with lettuce, tomato, onion, extra pickles and oil and vinegar.”

 

——————-

 

I go to pick up the sandwich:

 

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up for Snarky.”
DD: “Uh… oh… uh… one sec… [seriously flustered]…”

 

DD then goes and looks at my sandwich, says to his co-worker “I don’t think you gave her enough pickles.” He then, while giving me these strange looks, gets a little container to put even more pickles in. I believe this was his way of flirting… I’m not sure though. He was weird and trying to be tough with his coworker all while giving me these looks.

 

I felt uncomfortable. Very. Uncomfortable.

Waiting Game April 23, 2008

I feel like I’m doing a lot of waiting lately. Waiting to move to a new place (Sunday!!! yay!!). Waiting for Unofficial to get his head out of his ass… err… be ready. But, most importantly, waiting for my bar results. This. F’ing. Sucks. I was all fine with the wait until this week. I’ve convinced myself that the results will come out VERY soon.

 

Because of my ability to lie to myself, I’m now in deep anxiety mode. I was scheduled for a double at work today. It’s BEAUTIFUL outside, so we weren’t too busy. I scooted out as quickly as possible and bee-lined it home. I NEEDED to check the mail. Now, mind you, I’m still in Plymouth so it’s a good 30 minute drive between the apartment and work. (Come Sunday, only 15 minutes! Yay!) Regardless, I made the drive just to check my mail.

 

I am now hating the United States Postal Service. Daily, I am disappointed. Yesterday, it was a pamphlet from some local community college (because I definitely need more school right?!). Today, it was a flier from Bed Bath & Beyond. Granted, that $5 coupon on the last page may come in handy due to this move, but seriously……. GIVE. ME. MY. RESULTS. NOW!!!

 

The anxiety, I think, is worse than right before the exam. Honestly. I was pretty crazy right before the exam, too. This is worrisome for me because if I manage to get “crazier” I think it may drive away everyone in my life. Haha. I’m already over-reacting to nothing (literally, nothing) in regards to Unofficial. He and I are *very* good right now. And, I am being crazy because he has become “linked” to someone on that site where you “link” with others and I think it’s someone else he’s dating. So, I googled her and found her facebook… etc etc. Now, nothing has changed with he and I. I just now have a face for the name… which should make me feel a little better because if I’m being catty (and of course I am) I would say that I’m prettier and a better all around package. But, that’s only if I’m being catty… I feel confident with he and I, but this over-riding anxiety makes me insane. I’m trying to be calm, cool and collected like the MSN horoscopes told me to be… hahaha

 

I’ll write about Marathon Monday later. I just needed to vent. There’s been some serious action on this blog the last few days. Lots of visitors and some who are even searching for “bar results snarky runner” and the like. Very cool. You know, you can leave comments too! hahaha.

Marathon Monday Eve… April 20, 2008

1. Today we signed the lease! Wahoo! I feel a lot more comfortable having it all settled. AND the landlord was there with her “handy-man” (who, I believe, is very “handy” for her in other ways as well, from the sense of things…). We went through the entire apartment and spoke about the things that need to be done in the next week. They both say it will all get done in time! Yay!! I brought over more stuff as well. SLOWLY the Plymouth apartment is starting to empty out. I’m feeling pretty good about this move…

 

2. Marathon Monday is tomorrow!!! This is a great day in the city of Boston and I get to be there for the first time ever!! The plan is to meet up with Fake Big Sis on our street and then to go to a place called Vox Populi. Apparently it is on Boylston Street where the finish line is! So cool!! Well, it better be… I mean, it was $40/ticket for the cover charge… We are planning on being there at 10:30 a.m. I have no idea what it’s going to be like but I’m super excited!!

 

3. Unofficial and I have tentative plans for tomorrow night. He better come through. I’m missing his cute face and snuggly-ness.

Frisky Friday… April 18, 2008

1. My shoes and suits, along with some kitchen stuff and books, are now over at the new apartment. Sadly, there is a ridiculous amount of stuff left to bring over. Luckily, I’m loving the apartment more and more…

 

2. Unofficial and I had an impromptu sleepover last night…

 

3. Speaking of Unofficial, his parents popped into the restaurant tonight for drinks before going to a family part. I. LOVE. THEM. And… they love me too! It’s fantastic. I need no other cheerleaders in regards to that boy, the two of them will be enough! They make me smile…

 

4. There may be some news regarding bar passage a lot sooner than previously expected… I’m predicting some sort of information in the very near future.

 

5. Work Crush and his girlfriend are done. Apparently there was a huge blow-out over the weekend. Tonight, he was very curious about what was going on with Unofficial and I, mostly because I was giving Unofficial’s Dad a tour of the restaurant’s private dining areas and introduced him to WC… haha. I told him that I am happy with things. And I am. WC is good for work, but probably not so much for real life.

 

6. I went running again today. Unofficial and I were up so early that I had time to run, tan (shush), pack some boxes, put them in my gas guzzler, drive to the new apartment, unload the car AND unpack most of the boxes… all before work! The run was short but good. I also feel pretty “jacked” from all the box lifting. I can’t wait to wear a dress for Unofficial with some hot heels again!

A Few Thoughts… April 16, 2008

1. For well over 10 years I stayed away from eating all burgers at Burger King. I just don’t like them. I would occasionally get a chicken sandwich, but that’s it. HOWEVER, in the last month or so, I have been craving (and eating) Whopper Jrs. This is definitely odd…

 

2. Work Crush made a surprise visit at a casual wine training tonight at the restaurant. The wine training was really just a wine tasting with some info on the wines and you could show up any time between 7 and 10 pm to learn about the wines. WC came in right as we were getting through the last of the wines for the first time. I debated sticking around… but realized it would be silly. I left and texted him that if he wanted to meet up for a drink when he was done, I’d be around the area for a bit. I also said that I was sure that we are both adult enough for it not to be trouble. His response came an hour and a half later. WC was just leaving the restaurant, has to wake up at 5 am and that maybe next time we could do something… How come my flirty I-just-want-to-make-out-with-him situations have to be annoying too? grr

 

3. While waiting for WC’s reply, I decided it would be a good idea to drop some stuff off at the new apartment. I discovered the best thing… it takes only 15 minutes from work to the new apartment at night!! niiiice…

 

4. I love Amarone…

 

Box-Land, Dating fun, Apartment Crush and A Big Mess April 16, 2008

1. I have boxes all over the place and it’s like Simon is at a playground. He loves it. My current landlord took away her big sectional sofa today because they’re bringing it to the Vineyard for the summer. Apparently, under and behind the couch is where Simon’s hiding place is. This is what I found: 27 hair bands (seriously), 5 pens, 3 half chewed ear plugs, 2 lip glosses, 41 cents, and midnight in moscow nail polish.

 

2. Unofficial and I had a date last night. It was fantastic… we are so back to normal!! I love it!! I’ve been all giggly and smiley today.

 

3. Before we went to dinner, I brought Unofficial by my new apartment. He definitely approved. And, I’m liking the apartment more every time I step foot in it. As we drove to dinner, Unofficial asked “So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you move?” I just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and smirk. Did I mention that he’s the one helping me to move?

 

4. The condo is a disaster. It’s slightly disheartening that people were in here today to get that couch. There’s a thong on the floor right in the line of sight when you walk in, Simon’s litter needs to be changed, boxes abound, clothes everywhere… it’s quite gross. Moving is messy.