Today was finally a day off for me! I got to bed pretty late after writing my post last night. And then, this morning (ok… afternoon), I wasn’t feeling too hot. I’ve developed some sort of cold. The restaurant is much like kindergarten where every kid (worker) ends up with whatever the other kids have as far as illnesses are concerned. Luckily, up until this point, I had not caught anything from my darling coworkers. Now, it could have been the over-tired body telling me to take a break. Also, maybe having two tequila sunrises wasn’t the best idea when my body was so achy. Yes, I’ve put the tequila from the last post to use. I have no margarita mix and it’s just wrong to drink it on the rocks … alone. hahaha.
So I woke up all icky feeling. I had planned to do all sorts of good stuff… eh not so much. I did make my “steak tips” though and they turned out pretty good. I like to cook them in a lot of beef stock throughout the day in a crock pot and then they’re lovely at the end. However, I do steal some of the broth as it gets later in the day because it’s sooo yummy. Anywho…
Most of the day was spent sleeping. Whether it was me sleeping in late, or passing out on my couch after General Hospital. I didn’t do a single thing (besides cook) that was on my list… and I’m ok with that. I am a firm believer that when your body starts to break down you need a rest. Today, I needed a rest. I can do the cleaning later on in life…
Tomorrow it’s back to the grind with a double. I’m going to attempt to hit the gym before work, but that’s wishful thinking on my part probably. I would have to be up at 8 am to pull that one off, and … well… it’s almost 2 am now. Haha! We’ll see though… stranger things have happened and I DID get a ton of sleep today.
I had a chance to watch all my shows that I would normally dvr today. One that I’ve gotten to really like is Samantha Who? on ABC at 9:30 pm. It’s a new half hour comedy about this woman who was apparently slightly evil and whorish before she was hit by a car and in a coma for 8 days. When she awakes she has amnesia and is trying to learn about herself. It’s funny to watch because, well, she was real evil before and karma keeps kicking her ass. Also, it makes you wonder how you would feel if you were in her situation. If you were hit by a car, in a coma for 8 days, then awoke with amnesia, how would “new you” feel about “old you”? I try to be a good person but I know that I often fail. And there are so many situations that I don’t necessarily regret, but maybe would have rather not have been in. Does that make sense? ( P.S. I know my grammar probably sucks… deal with it. )
Often times I will be sitting around or more than likely trying to sleep and I start thinking about the men in my life. Even this Samantha Who? thing has gotten me thinking. What would the “new me” think of the relationships “old me” was in? There are quite a few that have left an imprint. (Oh, and if you haven’t guessed or gotten it by now, I will not ever use real names. I’ll use initials or creative nicknames for any one I talk about on here.) It’s been almost 2 months since the Athletic Trainer (AT) and I last spoke. No emails, no texts, no phone calls. I stopped trying and he obviously either didn’t care enough to put some effort in or just hasn’t realized that it’s been 2 months. I’m going with the “he didn’t care enough” theory. It’s the pretty standard theory for our relationship. What bothers me lately though, is how that relationship will effect my potential relationships in the future. Like when I went out with Over Cuddly Guy (OCG) a few weeks ago. AT and I’s relationship was a lot about having separate lives and space. We didn’t spend every day or hour together. And when we were together, we were still very much doing our own thing. He would be on one couch, I would be on the other and it was comfortable and good. We did our fair share of cuddling or he’d sit at one end of the couch and I’d lay my legs across his lap while at the other end, type thing. OCG is a wonderful guy. He brought me flowers, took me on a proper date etc. Unbeknownst to me, he is an Over-Cuddler. This is a rare breed of man who MUST at ALL times cuddle with the object of their affections. Example: I stayed the night after our date. I felt kind of gross the next morning. OCG is on his lazy boy, I am on his couch perfectly content watching Sports Center. For no real reason, he jumps from lazy boy to couch and then on top of me. He wanted “hugs” and to “cuddle”. I wanted all such things to cease and desist so that I could continue watching Sports Center.
I was attracted to him, but for some reason the thought of always being touched and held and cuddled nauseates me. AT is to blame for this, I’m certain. Then again, someone told me that it’s probably just an early indicator that OCG is not the right guy for me. I’m learning to trust my instincts and not waste anyone’s time/emotions on potential relationships that are doomed. My problem is that I am consistently finding myself being drawn to those emotionally (or really just legally) unavailable men. I haven’t acted on anything and will not allow myself to. But I do have bad thoughts about inappropriate people at times…
I’m finding that being out of school and “in the real world” makes meeting people a difficult task. Ever feel like that?? Sometimes I wonder if all the stuff “old me” has done has caused me to be jaded and cynical about future potential relationships.
